My Own
by Moonsetta
Summary: My alternate ending to the 2007 CGI movie. "If you love it, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be." COMPLETE!
1. If You Love It

I wanted to write my own alternate ending to the 2007 movie. Ok, this picks up just as the turtles, Splinter, Casey and April turn to stare at the portal to another dimension.

I don't own TMNT.

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**If you love it, **

"That would be the swirling vortex to another world, I assume," Don said as the group gazed at the bright light emanating from the center where thirteen cylinder containers surrounded it.

"Cool," Mikey breathed, "I want one!"

Raph narrowed his eyes, he knew Leo was in one of them. He couldn't help but let the sting keep coming back from their fight. He had to set this right, even if Leo never forgave him. He had been fighting his own brother. He had always wanted Leo to come back home, and he had idiotically gone and said that he didn't care.

Mikey walked strait up to one of the containers, glancing in through the small barred window, "Leo is that you?"

It was quiet for a moment and then a roar made Mikey fall back as a creature with huge fangs and lots of fur appeared in the window.

"Sorry, wrong cage," Mikey said as he got to his feet.

Don shook his head and frowned with a bit of humor as Mikey smiled widely at the crazy antic. Raph ignored the smile and humor frown for favor of glancing inside the next cage. He spotted a flash of blue and his heart sped up, then shouted out when he could make out the form of his older brother inside.

"Leo," he breathed and turned his head towards his other brothers, "I got him!"

"Out the way please," Don said as he rushed towards the cage, placing an explosive on the door as Raph stepped away.

They shielded their heads as the explosive ticked down and the steel door came flying off.

"Leo," Raph whispered as he stepped forwards to help his older brother but when his fingertips touched Leo's skin, the injured turtle vanished, leaving nothing but the air behind.

"Where'd he go!" Mikey shouted as they all glanced around frantically.

"Looking for thisssssss," a serpent-like voice hissed.

They turned and glanced up at the stairwell to see Serpiente there with Mono by her side. In The giant's large hand he was holding Leo by his neck who was too weak to lift up his arms to try to fight back.

"Let him go!" Raph shouted, a growl emitting from his throat.

"Ssssilence," Serpiente hissed as she signaled for Mono to put Leo down.

He did, but kept a hold on his neck, still cutting off the suffering turtle's air supply.

"LET HIM GO!" Raph shouted, drawing out his sais.

Don and Mikey quickly followed by drawing out their weapons as well.

"You are in no possssition to be making demandssssssss."

Leo coughed out and his face began reddening. He needed air.

"LET HIM GO NOW!" Raph was getting purposefully ticked off.

"Pardon ussss," Serpiente hissed as she and Mono stepped back into the shadows, dragging Leo along with them.

"LEO!" his family and friends shouted as the green skin fell into the over hanging darkness.

There was a loud scream and everyone turned their eyes upward as a man came flying through the air and landed a few feet from where the group stood, cracking the floor beneath him as he landed. He lay there, completely still. They all approached him cautiously.

Leo was released from Mono's grasp only to feel the bite of a stone blade against his throat. He froze and closed his eyes.

Serpiente's stone hand came down on top of his head and then the blade was gone from his throat. He could've almost smiled at the relief but he was still trying to regain his oxygen.

"We are needed," Serpiente hissed, "Silence him."

The small stone hand vanished and then a larger one grabbed Leo's head while the other rested on his shoulder.

"So this is it," Leo thought, and only thought of his family, "Don't blame yourselves," he whispered to the empty air.

A wisp of wind blew through the building, lifting the tails of Leo's mask in front of his face. He tried one last time to lift his arms but found it was useless, all that poison in his veins had weakened him too much. When the stone hands moved, he didn't scream, but whimpered from the sudden pain before blackness surrounded him. As he faded, he thought he heard the clash of weapons in the distance, but alas, he was no more.

Raph, Don and Mikey ran between the stone generals and Max Winters, "We thought we'd even the odds a little."

They jumped forward, Don taking on the giant, Mono, having to dodge his large stone hammer before striking out with his bo staff. Mikey shot towards Serpiente, not giving her a chance to attack first. After all, the hissing voice was getting on everyone's nerves. The less talk the better. Raph jumped over Aguila and turned to catch his sword before it could slash through his skull. Winter's was hesitant but fought back when Gato jumped for his throat. If a fight must occur, then it must be fought.

They separated in different directions. Gato backing Winters towards the display cases that surrounded the room. Serpiente was being pushed back by Mikey towards a stone pillar. While Don was few feet away, trying to avoid being hit by Mono's hammer. He learned very quickly that it really hurt when you got hit. He found himself estimating that the stone hammer must weigh at least a ton. A slight hit from the hammer reminded him to remain focused though. Raph was being forced up the staircase and as he climbed he thought he saw a flash of blue from the opposite side of the room on the other balcony.

"Humans and symmetry, honestly," he thought as he tossed Aguila over the ledge and glanced down to see the fall to the first floor did nothing to him, he glanced back over at the other balcony, "We'll be right there Leo," he silently promised before scowling and dropping down to continue his fight with the stone leader.

"Boys, we must finish this!" Splinter yelled.

The team leapt at the same time, knocking Aguila, Serpiente and Mono into the vortex. Winters, who was off to the side ended up throwing Gato in behind them. They waited for three seconds and then a shockwave from the portal threw them backwards. A sword flew up through the portal, startling the turtles and Winters back.

"Foolish creatures," Aguila chuckled as he, his brothers and sister stepped out of the portal, "We are immortals made of stone! Without the final monster to break our curse, we will never be stopped!"

The sudden screeching of tires had the turtles turning just as Mikey's 'Cowabunga Carl' van broke through the doorway, turning and falling onto it's side as the 13th monster bounded in after it, slipping on the floor and heading strait for the three turtles and the four stone generals. Just as the monster would've hit them, the turtle team was knocked out of the way by Winters. The warriors watched as the vortex swallowed up the final monster and the stone generals, recognizing the screams as their stone bodies turned to flesh and the curse was lifted. They vanished along with the portal as it shrunk and retreated back to it's own origin.

"So, did we win?" Mikey asked, tilting his head to the side in a cute way.

Don scanned the area and smiled, "Yeah, we did it. We won!"

Don and Mikey body slammed one another while cheering. Mikey's attention was immediately drawn to April and Casey as they kissed.

"Aww," he cooed and then got elbowed in the arm by Don.

Mikey rubbed his arm and mock glared at his immediate older brother. Don wasn't looking at him though, the youngest turtle turned to find out what Don was watching. It was Raph, he was quickly climbing the room's right staircase. Don motioned with his head and they quickly caught up to him.

"Raph, what are you doing?" Don asked, they had won shouldn't they be celebrating?

"Looking for Leo," Raph growled, had they honestly just forgot?

"Oh," the two younger turtles said in unison.

They reached the platform only to find the whole place covered in debris.

"There!" Mikey shouted at the sight of blue cloth at the far end of the balcony. The three turtles scrambled forward, Raph and Mikey moving away the debris as Don pulled their leader out, laying him down away from the sharp glass and stones.

"Leo?" he asked as he rested a hand on the top of his eldest brother's head, "Leo?" he asked again.

No response. Don placed one finger at Leo's neck…

* * *

Well, that's it for now. I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get a snack. Later readers.

Oh, before I go. Does it really matter if I ask for reviews? Will people review anyways? Even if I don't say anything? Well, I would like to continue this but I am feeling quite lazy today so I skipped a lot in the movie, I know. The remainder of the story will be my own plot so no more being lazy in later chapters for me! ^_^

Well, I'd really like some reviews. If you will.

~Moonsetta


	2. Let It Go

I don't own TMNT.

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Let it go.

Don waited, and waited, and still waited. He shook his head in confusion and checked again. Pressing his finger against the vein, he had to find the pulse. There had be a pulse…

He waited the normal 15 seconds.

Nothing.

He removed his hand and tried again, making sure his finger was against the vein so he could feel the pulse.

He waited 15 more seconds.

Nothing.

He moved in a daze and tried the vein in Leo's wrist.

He waited 15 seconds more.

Nothing.

He pulled away and didn't hear Raph's and Mikey's cries for the status. He sat there for thirty seconds until a hand on his shoulder made him look up. It was Mikey.

"What's wrong Don, Leo's ok, isn't he?" Mikey asked, his blue eyes faltering.

Don's eyes narrowed. Leo had to be ok.

"Raph, I need your sai," he said, none of the turtles aware of their sensei and human friends walking up behind them.

Raph moved as if in a daze himself but nevertheless, pulled one of his sais from his belt and handed it to his immediate younger brother. Don held it close to Leo's mouth and waited, watching to see if Leo's expelling breath would cloud the metal of the sai.

10 seconds.

Nothing.

20 seconds.

Nothing.

30 seconds.

Nothing.

40 seconds.

Nothing.

He waited five more seconds, just to be sure.

Nothing.

45 seconds and no breath escaped Leo. Don scowled and tossed the sai behind him, knowing Raph caught it with ease. Don put his hands on Leo's plastron and applied steady pressure. He moved back to place his ear next to Leo's mouth.

Nothing.

"Ok, no need to panic," Don muttered, unaware that his hands were beginning to shake.

"Don what is it!" Raph demanded, "What's wrong with Leo?"

The purple masked turtle ignored his older brother and placed his head on Leo's plastron, listening for a heartbeat.

15 seconds.

Nothing.

30 seconds.

Nothing.

That's when everything hit him. NO BREATH, PLUS NO PULSE, EQUALS DEAD BROTHER! The genius sprung into action, immediately giving CPR to the lifeless body.

"Don!" his other brothers screamed in shock.

When Don pulled back for the chest compressions he let it all out in one breath, "He doesn't have a pulse and he's not breathing!"

Raph froze, "Don are you saying he's-"

"No, he can't be," Mikey insisted as they gathered around the blue clad turtle.

45 minutes later Don collapsed on top of Leo and felt for a pulse again.

15 seconds.

Nothing.

30 seconds.

Nothing.

45 seconds.

Nothing.

He checked for a breath.

10 seconds.

Nothing.

20 seconds.

Nothing.

30 seconds.

Still nothing.

40 seconds.

Inexistent.

Just five more seconds.

"Please, one in five seconds?" Don mentally begged, his eyes beginning to sting and his throat closing in on itself.

Those five seconds.

One-

Single-

Absence of breath, pulse and life.

Don lifted himself up on shaky arms, "It's no good. There's no pulse and no breath."

"Don?" he heard a choked voice ask.

Unsure if it was Mikey or Raph he spoke the plain truth, raising his eyes to look at his brothers while tears filled his eyes, "Leo's dead."

"WHAT!" everyone screamed.

The other turtles dove for their eldest brother, reaching desperately to find a pulse or the escape of air from his lungs.

"NO!" Raph shouted, leaning over Leo, "NO! LEO WAKE UP!"

"LEO YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP!" Mikey shouted, "WAKE UP! PLEASE WAKE UP!"

"DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME LEO!"

"IT CAN'T BE, IT CAN'T BE!" Mikey cried.

Don was already shaking with sobs, trying to muffle them with his hand, but it was doing little good.

"Leonardo," Splinter whispered and kneeled by his eldest's head, closing his eyes and reaching for his son's spirit.

"YOU CAN'T!" Raph shouted at Leo as Don and Mikey huddled together for comfort

April turned and cried into Casey's shoulder. This couldn't be happening to them. Years of knowing the loving family. Memories, were just that now. There would be no more memories made. History became just history and the future no longer held a flash of blue.

"LEO! NO!" Raph kept on shouting his defiance to the still, cold form in front of him.

He could still remember the last words he had said to his older brother:

"_I'm done taking orders."_

And the last thing he had did, was snap each of Leo's swords in two and then nearly shoved a sai through his throat. One inch, and he could've killed him. Then, all he could do was be a coward and run away, leaving Leo defenseless and as an easy target for the stone generals. And now…

Now he was…

"NO!" Raph shouted again, "HE CAN'T BE! LEO WAKE UP! YOU CAN'T-"

No one lifted a consoling hand as his words fell into choked back sobs and as tears spilled from his eyes and onto the form of the broken brother below him. Raph grounded his teeth together and then glared right up towards the hole in the ceiling that had been made by that otherworldly vortex. He took three deep breaths and then, he screamed. He screamed louder than anyone could imagine and he just kept screaming, the anger and sorrow melting together as they flew into the surrounding air. After a long two minutes he collapsed on top of Leo, his once, yelling voice, now a scratchy whisper as he begged.

"No, you can't. You can't Leo. You can't. You can't leave us, not again. We just got you back. You can't go. I-I can't Leo, I can't lose you. You're the only older brother I got."

He allowed himself tears and sobs for a few more minutes before he whispered again, wishing his voice wasn't horse and he could still yell, "Please, big brother, please."

He didn't care if the others were watching at this point. It was if the dead heart under his hand was his world and it had just stopped. Time stopped, the wind died away, flowing water froze in midair, the planet stopped turning and he only knew one thing.

He couldn't be here.

Raph tightened his hands into fists as the guilt piled down on him. This was his fault! He had fought Leo like he had had nothing to lose and now, everything he lost and got returned was gone again. Leo returned from his training but he couldn't return from death.

"This is all my fault," Raph whispered before he jumped to his feet and dashed out of the building, heading for the nearest manhole to the sewers below, his feet going ankle deep into the murky water as he started running in one direction.

After time, for he wasn't sure if it had been seconds, minutes, hours or days, Raph fell to his knees into the sewer water below, pressing his face against the cool, damp cement of the tunnel. The sun had risen so he couldn't go for a run to quell his anger. His throat, face and eyes were burning. It was déjà vu all over again, for he had done this before.

* * *

It had been when Leo had left. One year of training, that was supposed to be it. When their leader had left, the team ceased to exist. At first, it was nice. Leo wasn't there to boss them all around and they figured they could take care of everything he had easily. Life seemed easy around the lair. Then the 'duties' caught up with them all:

Someone needed to find places to get food.

Someone needed to take over the uncompleted chores.

Someone had to keep an eye on the humans in the sewers.

Someone had to watch after their father's health.

Someone had to watch Mikey, because he didn't like being alone.

Someone needed to find a way to get money.

Someone needed to patrol the city.

Someone needed to protect the citizens of New York.

Someone needed to keep the dojo clean.

Someone needed to banish the youngest turtle's nightmares.

Someone needed to talk with Don.

Someone needed to drag Raph home when he stayed out late.

Someone needed to ensure that they all trained.

Someone needed to be a verbal and physical punching bag for Raph.

Someone needed to be the leader.

But most of all, someone needed to be the big brother.

That was when things flew downhill. That's when the team and the family came to a grinding halt and split into different directions. Don got a job and became the de facto leader. Mikey got a job as well and found himself on his own more and more. Raph could only watch the city fall apart and neither one of his remaining brothers would do anything about, so he had to. He let Don be the leader without question, Raph's own responsibility became the city. It seemed it was all he could do at the time. But it always felt empty when the red masked turtle returned home.

Usually a light would be on in the dojo and the sounds of katanas swiping through the air reminded him that his brother cared enough to wait up for him. Not that he ever voiced it out loud. Leo fought with him when Raph needed to relieve more anger when the gangs and villains of the city were no match for him. But, those last two years, he walked into his home to typing from Don's lab, a light from his father's room, his youngest brother asleep on the couch and no cool headed older brother ready for a sparring match. For awhile, it didn't hit him, that Leo was gone. One night he came in and found Mikey sleeping on the couch as usual but the news was on. Probably changed by Don before he ducked back into his lab to answer a call for the IT tech service he found employment in.

The news story was a simple one. A young boy was giving a short hello to his older brother, who was overseas, fighting in a war. Raph tensed as he went to his room and flopped down into his hammock, staring wide eyed at the ceiling.

Leo was gone…

The next morning he asked his father how long Leo would be gone. Splinter replied that Leo would be training in Central America for the next year. When Raph was once again on the city's rooftops, he decided he could deal with it. One year without Leo, it was something new, but he could handle it. He could. At least, that's what he told himself. As time passed, he watched as Don and Mikey turned to one another for support during the time and how Splinter seemed to revert more and more into his own, searching for a spiritual calming. In the end, that left Raph with no one. No one was there for him. Someone had been there, but he wasn't anymore. It felt like betrayal.

But he just kept telling himself, "It's just a few more months, and Leo will be back."

Then, everything would go back to normal. He didn't allow himself to embrace those feelings of betrayal, because his older brother was coming home soon. So he waited, on his own, he waited. Six months passed, and he assured himself that he was ok. And as six became seven, eight, nine, ten and eleven. His hope grew. Finally, the twelfth month came and ended. He waited and his hope was high.

The twelfth month passed.

No word, no letter, no Leo.

Betrayal hit his heart as did the truth. Leo wasn't coming home. Then one night he had a nightmare, causing questions to spin in his head.

The dream opened into a thick forest that was coated in layers of shadows and for some reason, Raph was at the edge of this forest. He spotted a figure in the distance a bit into the trees.

"Leo!" he shouted out and jumped after him, but the figure ran.

He ran after him, where was Leo going?

Finally, the figure stopped and Raph finally caught up to him but then nearly fell back from the sight. This wasn't his brother, this being, looked like Leo, but was transparent, giving off a kind of green hue, no doubt from the surrounding plants.

"Leo?" Raph whispered.

The ghost locked eyes with him and then stepped back to the edge of the branch they were standing on.

"Wait!" Raph shouted as the ghost jumped down, plummeting towards the ground that was 300 feet below.

Raph jumped after it, jumping to lower branches. No one could survive that kind of drop! When he reached the ground, he smelled blood. He looked among the green grass and spotted a flash of blue.

"NO!" he shouted and then shot up from his sleep, nearly jumping to his feet.

The next morning, he asked his sensei, if Leo was dead. Splinter assured him that Leo was fine but confused. Time passed ever onward, the feelings of betrayal built up and Raph refused to let them out. Then came Splinter's birthday, Leo's birthday, then his, then Don's, then Mikey's. Another year, no older brother, no best friend. He was alone. Alone. Leo had left him alone, to rely on only himself for the comfort he couldn't give. He never really thought he needed his older brother, but facing the loneliness, he wondered how Leo ever coped with it, never having a big brother there. That's when he found himself running through the tunnels of New York City's sewer system. Unsure of where he was going, other than just away from what he knew.

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Raph took rapid deep breaths as he faded back into reality.

This wasn't fair…

It wasn't fair…

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Well, that's another chapter. Now all I can ask is for readers to just stick with the story for now. Maybe Raph was totally OOC but I really don't care. I just love seeing any hotheaded stubborn character emotional.

Stay tuned for the next chapter. It'll be out soon. Oh, I like updating very rapidly so please review ASAP. I may think no one's reading this.

~Moonsetta


	3. If It Comes Back To You

I don't own TMNT.

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If It Comes Back To You,

"My sons," Splinter spoke slowly and carefully, "We must leave before humans come and discover our existence."

Don and Mikey nodded and wiped the tears from their faces before stepping forward to pick up their fallen eldest brother.

"Why?" Mikey mumbled.

"Why what?" Don asked as they made their way down the stairs into the brightening day.

"Why didn't I just grab Leo when I could've and stopped him from-" Mikey stopped as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"There wasn't anything you could've done Mikey. I should've immediately went to him when he was pulled back into the shadows maybe they wouldn't have killed him," Don said as they carried Leo between them, the eldest turtle's head turned to the side and resting on Don's shoulder.

The purple masked turtle shifted and felt his shoulder push aside a bone under Leo's skin. He knew then for sure that Leo couldn't be alive.

No one could live after having their neck broken…

Don suddenly wondered what Leo would want. A burial? Cremation? If a burial, then where? If the cremation, then what were they to do with the ashes? What would happen to them? Their family? They couldn't even manage to remain a family when Leo was away training. How would they now that he was-

Don forced himself to stop thinking, which was very difficult with the questions now caught in the gravity of his mind. He'd have to prepare everything once everyone made their decision. He'd have to organize the funeral, he'd have to go find Raph, drag him home, he wouldn't, no doubt, get any sleep that night, Mikey would have nightmares. All the questions tumbled around in his mind and he pushed aside emotions for now. That was just it, a leader couldn't let his emotions cloud his mind, he had to think what was best for the team overall.

Then, it was like a crack of thunder shook his mind. How many emotions had Leo hid all his life?

* * *

Mikey stared down at the form covered with a white sheet in Don's lab. His childlike mind was yelling his denial to the world. This just couldn't be true! Just days before Leo had come home after a two year absence. The youngest turtle hadn't believed it for a second until he ran and hugged Leo. He felt his physical form and knew it was real. He spent that night clinging and soaking up his presence.

Mikey choked back a sob and turned away from the, he swallowed at the thought…corpse. Eyes suddenly stinging, he stepped out of the room. It wasn't fair! He was gone two years, he came home, only to be taken away! He was gone again, but this time he couldn't just hop on a plane and come home!

* * *

Don found himself pacing by the front door. They couldn't decide or do anything until Raph got home. Where was he? Every few minutes, Don ducked back inside his lab and checked again, to see if he had missed the vein previously, and tried desperately to hear a heartbeat.

"This is crazy," Don yelled at himself in his mind as he covered the body with the sheet again, "You're the factual one! There's no breath, there's no pulse! Give it up! He's dead and there's nothing you can do about it!"

The purple masked turtle told himself that every time he went back into his lab. He wasn't sure why he kept coming back and checking for a pulse and breath that didn't exist but it was if his heart was telling him that he was missing something. That something just wasn't right. Well, the whole situation wasn't right but the death itself, seemed wrong. Like there was something obvious he should be thinking about. The answer always floated near but flew off when he reached for it.

What was wrong with this? He was missing something obvious but he couldn't pinpoint it. Growling in frustration he ducked back into his lab, hoping that some invention of his would provide a distraction from the world around him. The beeps and ringing of the machines around the genius turtle proved as a distraction for every few seconds before his eyes would wander over to the sheet covered figure. Still, every few minutes he climbed to his feet and checked again. No pulse, no breath.

Don fell back into his computer chair, where he had been previously sitting to work on an invention that he suddenly couldn't remember even starting, and then sighed. What was wrong with this? He had always relied more on his intelligence than his instincts but something kept pulling at his mind. With another long drawn out sigh Don forced his mind back on a logical track. They had decide what to do soon, after all, his previous studies concluded that because of their mix of human and reptile attributes the normal rate of skin decomposition was much higher than that of reptiles and humans. In fact…

Don sat up stiffly when he heard the door to his lab creak open. He turned to see it was his youngest brother. Mikey glanced around curiously before his gaze met Don's. The youngest turtle opened his mouth to speak but was cut off as Don spoke.

"Yes, I checked for the 32nd time, he's dead Mikey," the purple masked turtle said in a voice embedded with venom.

Mikey's eyes fell to the floor and he ducked back outside, closing the door behind him. Leaving his immediate older brother to sit alone in the murderous silence once again. Don turned his mind to the facts once again, the skin would start to decompose very soon, darkening as the cells broke down. It started after a few hours. The genius turtle glanced at the clock…

Three hours had already passed.

The door creaked open again and Don sighed, but only silence followed.

* * *

Raph opened his eyes to find himself lying against the side of a sewer tunnel. He rubbed his eyes dry and sat up stoutly, shivering as he noticed the sudden drop of the atmosphere around him. The buzzing of a few insects near a stream of lights in the tunnel caught his attention and then he looked into the murky water below him. The light caused a slight, fuzzy reflection, that wasn't clear but showed enough to reveal color and basic shapes. Although it was hard to tell, Raph found his amber eyes had darkened. For some reason, he predicted and feared that they might turn black. Shaking off the thought he picked himself up and shivered again at the cold air surrounding him, trapped inside the pipe by it's thick, concrete walls. Half emotionally dead, he managed to drag himself home. He hoped neither of his, he gulped, remaining brothers, hated him.

The red masked mutant turtle traveled through tunnels that always seemed the same, no matter how different they truly were. Every rodent and insect running for cover was the same to him and at every turn he couldn't help but hope. This was just too much. How was he supposed to handle this? He knew Leo could, but no doubt, Splinter had prepared the eldest for such a thing, but Raph just couldn't do this. Finally, although it felt like no time and all time had both passed him by, the suffering turtle reached the familiar sewer wall that hid their home. As he glanced up at the handle that would open up the hidden door, his vision seemed to fall back for miles, as if he was staring down a tunnel with a goal that was impossible to reach.

Raph shivered again, but rather if that was from the cold air, water of the shock of everything, he couldn't tell. Maybe it took him hours, or maybe seconds, but finally, he forced his trembling hand to reach up and pull on the pipe that was actually a hidden lever. The stones in front of him shifted and rose into the stones above. Raph stepped through the doorway as the door slid back down behind him and he mentally smiled at the fact, that if Leo had seen that he would've gotten a lecture about checking the surrounding area to ensure no humans were near. Raph closed his eyes as his sight took in everything in under a second.

"Raph?"

The quiet turtle opened his eyes and locked his slowly darkening amber eyes with two eyes of bright, shining blue.

"Mikey," Raph said in a scratchy voice as he noticed the splash of bright orange in front of him.

The youngest brother stepped forward and asked with his eyes. Despite it all, Raph was still uncertain what the world around him was like. Finally though, after three long minutes of standing stock still, the older turtle spread his arms as his baby brother flew into his embrace, burying his head into his shoulder as he cried. The red masked turtle was beginning to think, that maybe he ran out of tears back at the Winters corp. building, but he just stood still and let Mikey cry.

"I'm sorry Mikey," Raph suddenly spoke out of no where, "I ain't Leo, so I can't make you feel better and I ain't Don, so I can't fix this."

Mikey pulled away and wiped at his face but noticed Raph was still hugging him, so he embraced his older brother more tightly. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who needed a hug.

"Mikey I-" Don began to say as he stepped out of his lab only to freeze when he saw his brothers hugging.

They looked over at him and pulled away from one another.

Don smiled in mock humor, "I'll be using _that _in the future."

The other turtles glared at him, Raph more so. The more angry turtle took a menacing step forward towards Don, his hands twitching towards his sais.

Don smiled patiently and gently, "Guys, he's waking up."

Raph and Mikey froze for a good long minute, their mouths falling open.

"Wh-what?" Raph asked in a voice that proved he couldn't quite grasp the reality of the world around him.

Don motioned for them to follow him. They all three entered the genius' lab, still frozen by his words. The purple masked turtle pulled the sheet away from what they had believed was a corpse to reveal a slowly gaining consciousness older brother.

"LEO!" Mikey shouted and ran towards him, arms stretched out widely for a hug.

"Woah, wait a minute little bro," Don said as he held him back, "First let me explain the situation. Leo was never dead, he slipped into a meditative state, Master Splinter was able to reach him and bring him back," Don explained, motioning to their sensei standing by Leo's side, "There was actually breath and pulse but the body cut down on it just enough to survive the stress of whatever happened to him and for me not to detect it."

"What did happen to him?" Raph asked with a worried frown as he slowly approached his older brother.

"I'm not sure," Don said as they all crowded around their oldest brother.

Raph leaned over the wakening figure and it was strange but he felt as if the shade of amber in his eyes was lightening once again, instead of falling into a deep shade of onyx.

"Leo?" he whispered carefully and quietly.

He saw a flash of dark chocolate and stared on as the green eyelids fought to open, but finally, after a torturous long minute those eyes opened all the way and then, the world suddenly made sense to Raphael once again. Water flowed, wind blew, grass grew, birds sung, flowers bloomed, clouds drifted across the sky and suddenly, it was all about the warm glow of those dark chocolate eyes.

* * *

Ok, that was actually tough to write but I did it! I'm gonna go get a poptart and some iced tea to celebrate. Let me see, chocolate chip, Strawberry milkshake or cinnamon roll? I guess I'll decide when I head downstairs and yes, I'm moved now. My family and I are finally settling in my new house.

Wish me luck in my new neighborhood!

Anyways, reviews please! I know that was long but Leo's alive, that's what you wanted isn't it? Well, this story isn't over yet, there's seven chapters in all so don't think the story's over. We're only half-way through the quote anyways.

R&R please?

~Moonsetta


	4. It's Yours Forever

I don't own TMNT.

**

* * *

**

It's Yours Forever.

Raph found himself that night, pacing outside of Don's lab.

"How long can it take to just check him over!" Raph shouted, knowing Don's lab was soundproof so he wouldn't hear him anyways.

"Calm down Raph," Mikey said, walking over and placing a hand on his older brother's shoulder.

A few hours prior, the youngest had been thinking of now seeing Raph as his oldest brother but everything worked out, everything would work out. Right?

"I can't calm down Mikey, I need to talk to Leo now. I need to talk to him before-"

"Before what?" Mikey asked, his bright blue eyes focused on his red masked brother.

"Should I really tell Mikey?" Raph asked himself in his head as he thought it over.

That battle on the rooftops would've affected all of them but something stopped Raph from blurting out the whole story. Was it his pride? Or his fear? Or did he just have too much pride to admit that fear. What was he afraid of? That Leo would hate him? Well, that was definitely one but something else was picking at his heart. He didn't know what it was until Mikey moved closer to him. As his youngest brother stepped towards him, he stepped away in fear. Not in fear of his baby brother but fear that he would do something else he might regret. After all, he was a monster.

What kind of brother destroys one of the most important possessions of his older brother and then knocks him to the ground before nearly shoving a blade through his throat? Oh…what kind of brother was he? He could vouch that he knew monsters that were kinder than that.

"I can't talk about it with anyone except Leo," Raph attempted to say sternly but his voice was long drawn out and shaky.

Then he turned towards the door as it opened slowly and his immediate younger brother stepped out into the main room.

"Well?" he demanded and stepped back when Don flinched from the loud volume of his voice.

Don took a deep breath, "Well, it seems that it was Mono that tried to kill him by using that stone hammer on his skull."

Mikey shivered at the thought while Raph growled at the thought of the giant of the stone generals.

"Anyways," Don said after he noted the shiver and growl, "I ran a cat scan and everything seems to be functioning perfectly."

"A cat scan? What's this have to do with cats?" Mikey asked.

"I took a picture of his brain, it's working," Don explained.

"Oh, why didn't you just say so?" Mikey asked, the child-like innocence in his eyes shining through.

Don sighed at the annoyance of his younger brother, "I did."

Then, the purple masked turtle stumbled back as his immediate older brother pushed past him and into the genius' lab.

"Raph," Mikey said and went to go after him.

"Donatello, Michelangelo," an aged voice said and they turned to see their sensei on the other side of the room, "Allow your brothers to be alone."

* * *

Inside the room, Raph found himself staring at what he had believed just hours ago was his dead older brother, but now Leo was sitting up, a look of hard determination on his face.

"Leo?" Raph whispered.

Leo turned his head sharply, the blaze in his eyes made the red masked turtle stumble backwards before he regained his footing. He then glanced at the ground, then the wall, the machinery around him, everywhere but at Leo. Unfortunately, he ran out of things he could use as a distraction and was forced by some unknown force to gaze into those eyes of dark chocolate that were now like ice. There didn't seem to be fury in the leader's eyes but some kind of unemotional shield he had raised to hide an emotion underneath. That hit Raph in the heart, did Leo think he needed to hide his emotions from his younger brothers? Why?

Raph took a deep breath and made his way to Leo's side, who was still sitting up on the cot that he had previously been lying on for hours, and tried to speak, "Leo I-I well I'm trying to-no I, there's just-that."

Raph stopped and grinded his teeth together, this was not working. He was more of an action person than a words person. That was the problem, Leo needed a verbal apology, consolable words, everything Raph couldn't bring himself to say. The opposite problem stood for Leo, Raph needed reassurance, overall, simple attention that had been absent from his life in the past two years. Before he knew it, the red masked turtle reached the side of the bed. It was a lost cause really, the one who needed physical assurance was trying to say the words the other needed while the completely silent turtle was searching for what he could do to give that physical reassurance.

Raphael was by far, the most undemanding of attention, not that he didn't need it. They both stared at one another in silence until Raph forced himself to swallow his pride and to just say what he wanted. He feared being judged, he feared it would make him angry, he feared it would cause him to do something stupid, and he feared his older brother would have to pay the price for his mistake yet again.

"Leo," he spoke quickly and quietly, "I'm sorry."

The eldest said nothing and the hotheaded turtle felt rage beginning to build. He closed his eyes in the rage. He had said sorry. Leo was supposed to say something! This is what Leo wanted right, an apology? Wasn't that it? Raph unconsciously tightened his hands into fists. Then, he froze at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flew open and he found the ice of those dark chocolate eyes thawing into a shade of warm brown. Leo spoke no words only sat up strait and stared back at his immediate younger brother. He let his eyes and actions speak for him. For a long minute, he just stared into the light cindering shade of amber before he pulled Raph close and hugged him.

Raph's breath left him as he found himself being hugged by his older brother. The last time Leo had shown any care like this for him was over six years ago. The last time they hugged was when they had just beat their younger brothers in their own tag team wrestling match. That had been six years ago though. After that Raph believed he simply adapted away the need for physical attention, he was content with a hand on his shoulder, or an arm slung over his shoulders, but now the world seemed to be spinning faster, life rapidly springing from empty space. With a million thoughts in his head, Raph hugged back.

"AWW!" Mikey cooed as he stepped into the room.

Raph and Leo pulled away from each other quickly, their faces glowing with embarrassment.

"OW!" Mikey cried out when Don's bo staff met the back of his head, "What was that for?"

"This is why they aren't closer," the purple masked genius thought while shaking his head.

Raph glanced at Leo out of the corner of his eye and realized that his older brother was smiling at the youngest turtle's unfortunate predicament.

"Hey Mikey, come over here," Raph said, no one noticing the evil smile spreading under the surface.

"What is it Raph?" Mikey asked as he walked over to his red and blue masked older brothers.

When in range, Raph reached up and smacked Mikey on the back of his head.

"OW! What was that for?"

Raph smiled as Leo chuckled, his chocolate eyes shining. Raph smirked and hit Mikey again. This time, Leo laughed.

"I think Raph found a way to make Leo laugh," Don said as Raph hit Mikey again.

"Must it be at my expense?" Mikey asked as he rubbed his sore head.

"Hmm, yep," Raph said with a humorous smile.

* * *

Sorry it's short, but it's happy. So there's the happy ending you wanted right? Well, the story's not over yet.

*Wearing evil grin*

Yes, I'm planning something.

Please review? Like ASAP PLEASE? I want to finish this so badly, but I need reviews for inspiration and encouragement!

See ya next time!

~Moonsetta


	5. If It Doesn't

I don't own TMNT.

Remember how some of you were so happy that Leo was alive? ^_^

Well… -_-'

You may commence with throwing knives. O_O'

**

* * *

**

If It Doesn't,

Raph closed his eyes from the humorous smile and then felt a heavy hand on his shoulder, but wait, he felt like he was standing on his head. Why couldn't he open his eyes?

"Raph!" a distant voice called.

The red masked turtle tried to move but found himself paralyzed. Wait, why couldn't he move?

"Raph wake up!" the voice yelled again.

A bright, white light filled the world around the red masked turtle before he breathed in deeply. The hothead shot up, breathing heavily, his eyes glancing around him frantically.

The rapidly shifting eyes cam to a stop when they met a gaze of worried ocean blue.

"Oh, it's just you," Raph said with a frown.

Mikey looked a bit hurt by that but he brushed it aside, mainly concerned about his older brother, "How's your head?" he asked.

"My head?" Raph asked and raised a hand only to have it land on a thin strip of bandages around his skull.

"Yeah, after you ran out of Winters' building, me and Don came home. We waited but you didn't come back so we went out to look out for you."

Panic gripped Raph's heart and mind. It couldn't been! All of that had to be-

"We found you unconscious in one of the sewer pipes a few miles from here," Mikey explained and smiled a fake smile while tears long unshed built behind his eyes.

"Leo," Raph whispered, his breath coming in short gasps and his eyes widening.

He finally realized he was back in his room but he really couldn't focus. He threw off the blanket that was covering him and jumped to his feet before running out the door.

"It has to be real, it has to be real," he chanted under his breath as he ran for Don's lab.

All of that couldn't have been in his mind.

"It couldn't have just been a…"

Raph stood in the doorway of his purple masked, little brother's lab.

He glanced at the sheet covering a form on the lab.

"Dream," he finished.

His mind and heart were both horrifically screaming denial. NO! LEO HAD TO BE OK! HE WAS JUST OK! THEIR LEADER HAD JUST BEEN LAUGHING AT MIKEY'S DISTRESS! SO, HE COULDN'T BE DEAD.

"Raph?" a soft voice behind him asked.

The red masked turtle turned quickly and met eyes with his immediate younger brother.

Don saw the disbelief still present in Raph's eyes and he shook his head sadly, "He's gone Raph."

"No," Raph whispered.

"There's no pulse," Don continued on, oblivious to the rage building under the surface.

"No."

"No breath."

"No!"

"He's dead."

"NO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!" Raph shouted turning his back to his younger brother, "This is Leo. The one who does the impossible on a daily basis. Even you can't argue that!"

"No, Leo did the highly improbable, not the impossible. No matter how much of a superhero you see him as, he has-well had his limits. Leo's gone. Just accept it Raph, we need to figure out what to do about the body. Master Splinter's vouched for cremation while Mikey and I-"

"SHUT UP!" Raph yelled, snapping around and shoving his younger brother back, "I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY REPORT OR TEST SAYS. LEO CAN'T DIE!"

"Raph?" Mikey asked as he walked into the main room where his two older brothers were arguing.

"HE CAN'T BE DEAD! IT ISN'T POSSIBLE! THIS CAN'T BE REAL!" Raph seemed to be completely losing it, his eyes were tightly closed and his hands clenched into fists, his loud shouting fell into a choked whisper, "He can't be. He can't…"

"He's _dead _Raph," Don said through clenched teeth, he had been waiting for Raph to return for hours and his temper, that was usually in check, had just tumbled over the edge.

"HE'S DEAD RAPHAEL! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO WANTS TO DENY REALITY!"

"He can't…" Raph choked out, "He can't be gone. He can't leave us, not like this."

Don growled and before he knew it, his bo staff was in his hands.

"Don no!" Mikey shouted.

The enraged turtle threw his arm behind him and swung it forward, hearing his woode wapon hit flesh and bone. He was breathing deeply as he noticed his younger brother running to Raph's side. Then, Don suddenly dropped his bo, finally realizing what he had done. He dashed to Raph's side.

"Raph, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" he repeated over and over in a frantic voice.

Raph just stared at the ceiling as he embraced the pain. If it hurt that much, he must be awake. It must be real. Still though, he denied it. He slowly sat up, wiping blood from his mouth.

"Don," he said sternly, "Have you checked everything? Not just his heart and lungs, have you checked his brain? Maybe he's still in there."

"Raph," Don said with sad eyes as he watched his older brother wipe more blood from where it was running out of his mouth, "I don't have the equipment to run a cat scan. Besides, if he was still in there, Master Splinter would've reached him by now."

"Isn't there anything?" Raph asked, his eyes downcast as he felt the pity filled stares of his younger brothers.

"No," Don whispered hopelessly.

Raph scowled and climbed to his feet, heading for the open doorway of Don's lab.

"Raph!" his brothers yelled.

"I have to know for sure," he whispered and closed the door behind him.

* * *

Don groaned and shook his head before the two youngest sat down on the couch.

"Don?" Mikey asked.

"Hmm?"

"Maybe Raph's-"

"Let it go Mikey," Don spat, glaring at his little brother, who flinched back from the look in his eyes, "He's dead and he's not coming back. Leo's dead."

Mikey's bright blue eyes shimmered as they began reflecting too much light. Don turned his head and glared at the floor instead. His little brother needed to learn. The sooner, the better. Choked sobs followed the three second silence after the purple masked turtle turned away. Full cries followed seconds later and Don ignored them.

At least…he tried to.

* * *

Mikey on the other hand, felt destroyed. He had been so happy to have Leo back. His uncompleted and disastrous world had finally been fixed but now, it had shattered. All he could do was cry, burying his hands in his face, but as the fact that he was crying hit him, he cried more. Before Leo left for training the youngest always went to the eldest, for the benefit of them both. Although the young, orange masked turtle needed the comfort, Leo often needed something or someone to hold and comfort. He loved too much and needed to share it. While Don and Raph had focused on everything negative that Leo's absence brought to them, Mikey found himself remembering something their father had told them years before. One of the lessons he had actually paid attention to.

"_Every story, has two sides."_

So he wondered and started pointing out the negatives on Leo's side of it all.

He was alone.

He was 2,000 miles away from home.

He was in the middle of a jungle.

He had no one to care for his injuries.

He had no one to talk to.

He had no store or restaurant to get food from.

He didn't have a bed to sleep in.

He didn't have his family by his side.

He didn't have something or someone to love.

And Mikey knew that was the worst kind of loss Leo could ever endure, besides his family's deaths. Suddenly, all this little stuff started meaning everything to Mikey and now, he realized he didn't care about anything other than that cold, lifeless…corpse, in the other room that used to be his eldest brother. After a minute of hearing nothing but his own grief he felt a hand on his shoulder and then a cold embrace. The orange masked turtle forced his eyes open to find his immediate older brother had his arms around him. This didn't work though, Leo always let him cry on his shoulder before he would fall asleep in the eldest's lap, knowing he was safe. The hug Don was giving him, just wasn't right. It wasn't enough. He wasn't Leo.

Mikey pulled away roughly, his blue eyes staring into Don's soft chocolate eyes as both hues leaked tears, "I'm sorry," Mikey mumbled, closing his eyes in distress, "But it's just not the same."

The chocolate hue of Don's eyes was just too close to Leo's, except, the eldest's eyes held hidden eternal promises of protection and love, while Don's held confusion and pain. It wasn't right. It just wasn't right.

Life wasn't fair.

Don growled, "WELL I'M SORRY I CAN'T BE LEO! JUST GIVE IT UP MIKEY! HE'S DEAD!"

The air was full of Mikey's choked sobs and Don's heavy breathing from all of his screaming. Don froze and then glared at his younger brother as the genius got to his feet.

"JUST GET OVER IT!" he shouted before running into his room and slamming the door behind him.

He held a shaking hand to his face as he slid down the door until he hit the floor. He wanted to deny it all. He really wanted to, but that didn't make anything better, he knew.

So why couldn't he just accept it and get over it?

* * *

Yeah, if you didn't get it. All that good stuff that Raph just experienced, it was all just a dream. ^_^

Now don't worry and please don't kill the author! O_O

Just take it easy. I've said this once and I'll say it again:

This story is not over. (Yes, there's a spark of hope in my voice.)

This is chapter 5, only two more to go! ^_^

Please review? And if you're angry, please review and yell and scream all you want. I say this all the time, I'm not an exploding author. The point of a story and words is to evoke emotion so if this makes you mad, tell me. Yell at me! Tell me how you want me to change the story. People, something please? Truthfully, I'm getting very bored.

PLEASE? PLEASE REVIEW? PLEASE?

Ok, in other news. I now have 49 stories posted here. So I'm planning something for my 50th creation. A new story, with, believe it or not. An OC! It took forever to convince myself but I made one and put him in a story.

Yes, it's a him. I'm not going to be the typical fan and create a female turtle to write a love story about. It's so overrated. Anyways the story will be my 50th creation and I'm hoping people will give my character, Thade, a chance. The main focus of the story will be, of course, the brotherly bonds the team holds, and jealousy. Don't worry, no one falls in love. If you want to read that kind of story, I suggest you go to a different author. I have no interest in writing anything about romance.

I can only hope that this all almost kind of got through to people. See ya later!

~Moonsetta


	6. It Was Never Meant To Be

I don't own TMNT.

**

* * *

**

It Was Never Meant To Be.

Raph stood in solemn silence far from the still and silent form on the bed. His mind was bouncing back and forth inside his head, ricocheting from the laughing form he'd seen minutes before inside his own mind and the still life below. It was just wrong, not that he was saying that life wasn't fair, that was all too true, but this, this was just wrong. Yes, that was the best he could think up at the moment. The loud silence was unnerving. He tried looking at the room, the scattered bits and pieces lying around all over the floor but his eyes were on that white sheet that was draped across one of the two cots in the room. His eyes bore into the sheet, trying to see the being beneath it without having to move it.

"This isn't right," Raph thought as he took a step towards the sheet.

"Isn't right," he repeated in his head as he took another

"Isn't right..."

He took another step.

"Isn't right…"

And another step.

"Isn't right…"

Another step.

"Not right," he mumbled as his hand fell upon the sheet.

There was no sudden jerking movement beneath his fingertips. As he pulled slightly at the sheet, he listened harder than he ever had before in his life. He just wanted to hear a surprised gasp, or an annoyed sigh, heck he'd love a lecture right now. But as the pale white covering slipped from the side of the cot and fell to the floor, the truth simply hit him as if he had been shot with a bullet, no, an arrow. It was longer and could be used again after easily being pulled from the victim. Raph looked over the form of his older brother, searching for something. Something he just didn't know about but something knew he had to find out. A bloody fingerprint on Leo's neck was the evidence and proof of where Don had constantly checked for a pulse. The deceased's mouth hung open slightly, no doubt Don had checked for breath time and time again.

How long had it been?

Raph glanced at the nearest clock that was mounted on the wall.

2:00am

He wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious but hadn't it been just dawn when they left Winters Corp? So around fourteen hours…

Fourteen hours, without a brother. Without Leo…

Raph's throat seemed to close in on itself as he struggled to breathe through his constricted airway. He leaned over the…he gulped thinking the word…corpse and set a hand on Leo's-well the corpse's forehead. The skin was ice cold. This was so strange, they were retiles with warm blood and this ice feeling belonged elsewhere. Raph's gaze went back to the bloody fingerprint, It had to have been someone else's blood, because Leo hadn't been bleeding.

"So what did happen?" the red masked turtle asked the empty air.

Raph hadn't stuck around long enough to figure out what had truly happened to his older brother. He sighed and let his hand, that was resting on Leo's forehead, slide down over his face.

Then, he felt a twitch beneath his hand. Breaths harder and harder to take and eyes searching desperately he tore his hand away, looking, searching for- Then he growled at the sight of a fly on Leo's eyelid. He flicked the insect away and flung a fury of curses at it.

"Great, now I'm blowing up at a bug!" he thought and sighed.

He wasn't sure what was more harmful, never having that hope or having it for a moment and watching it die away. For a moment it remained him of when they all had been out on a patrol, during a rainstorm. After a battle Raph would glance at an overhang, a roof or a pipe, there would always be one drop or condensation, struggling to hold onto an edge, more drops would fall, weighing the drop down until it lost its grip and fell onto the asphalt below, running over the embedded stones until it reached a drain and fell into the sewers the turtles called home. Their lives seemed like that now, all the responsibilities and hardships on one turtle, until one made him let go. And all that was left, was the corpse lying in front of the lone, red masked turtle

He thought, that maybe he should yell, should scream and curse his older brother for leaving him AGAIN! But watching the still form, Raph only felt sick as those thoughts circled around in his head. Besides, he was never one for words. That was Leo's department. Words meant so much to the eldest, but Raph despised this. He preferred actions, they weren't confusing like words were. Words could and often did have secret meanings. Even certain words had more than one meaning.

Any word could mean anything.

Love could mean, admiration, lust, affection. And it could be friendship love, family love, relationship love, or it could be dislike in a sarcastic tone, or it could be hate in disguise. You never got a strait answer.

Raph's eyes went back to the clock.

3:00am

He had been here for an hour. Hmm…he hadn't noticed.

The red masked turtle just stood there for another long minute, before he reached out and rested his hand on Leo's cheek, the skin was still ice cold, and that sudden shock was like a bullet traveling through Raph's chest, his knees hit the ground and his head fell forward, his eyes on the cold stone floor. No, he couldn't break down here, he couldn't break down again. His pride wouldn't allow him to shed anymore tears and he was too angry at the world to care. He wanted to yell at Leo but that thought made him angry, because Leo wouldn't hear him and that just proved that this was a challenge he couldn't overcome. You couldn't beat death.

Or could you? Was it possible? Some people claimed they beat death, but was it true? Maybe it wasn't that people kept fighting that incoming darkness but that death itself got annoyed or irritated and didn't want to do his job. Maybe he was this all seeing being, or maybe he was human enough to sometimes show compassion.

Raph took three deep breaths and whispered to the empty air, "He's dead. He's really dead."

A wave of some strange emotion washed over the red masked turtle as he shakily climbed to his feet, it felt, for some strange reason, like it was gold, or maybe a golden light. What was this?

Acceptance?

Enlightenment?

Both?

Whatever it was Raph found himself slightly smiling. So it was both, life was precious and he could accept death right now. Yeah, he could and everything was going to be ok. He straitened up and glanced towards the closed door. Yes, he decided. He'd help his little brothers now, like he always should have.

The turtle with the accepting smile, began to turn

And felt a flinch under his fingertips.

* * *

Whew, ok we're at the end-

Of the quote.

Don't worry, there's still one chapter left. After all this quote isn't the only quote I'm using and I think people will like the last chapter. Sorry this chapter's so short but I just had to end it there.

Reviews please?

Oh and some news, if anyone's read my one-shot 'For Treasures You Hold Close" I have a poll on my profile asking if I should make it a story or not. I've only gotten one vote so far so I'm asking people to please vote.

Thank you!

The final chapter will be posted soon.

~Moonsetta


	7. Hope is a waking dream

Holds out final chapter as peace offering

Ok we came to the end of the famous quote but I chose another quote to end this story. Well I read the reviews and among the words there are a lot of people yelling about a twitch. May I remind people that it was a flinch, not a twitch. Yes, I believe there is a difference either way I guess it's debatable but time for the seventh and final chapter of My Own.

Enjoy! ^_^

I don't own TMNT.

Quote by Aristotle.

**

* * *

**

Hope is a waking dream.

Raph froze, but scowled and then growled. Another bug! Would these da-

"Raph?" asked a choked voice as Raph's eyes fell to the floor. A hand ensnared his wrist and suddenly, it was all to much, it was all too real. So real, that it just couldn't be reality because acceptance came and it could be…

Raph's limbs began trembling, his lungs couldn't seem to decide whether to shrink or grow, his breaths came in short, rapid gasps, his mouth grew dry, spikes flew through his heart like tissue paper, saltwater tears built behind his eyes, the floor seemed to turn into a thin sheet of ice, suspended in the middle of a dark ocean and he heard some noise, unusual for it sounded like something between a heavy gasp, a whimper and a cough. When the salty tears fell from his eyes and ran across the tight line his mouth was drawn up into, the salt taste stained his lips but he suddenly didn't have that energy to move much. With a deeper cry from the back of his throat than usual, he turned, and buried his face into a green shoulder. He released his hold on Leo's hand and tried to keep his jaw clenched while his hand sought a surface desperately, only to meet empty air. He leaned forward against the body close to his and his breath caught in his throat as his fingertips grazed the cool temperature of the plastic cot.

A sigh escaped the nearby being before a voice broke through the calm. Raph's eyes parted slightly as the words were spoke, his tear stained eyes stared into two eyes with chocolate hues. Then, he looked away, for he couldn't meet that gaze.

The door was open…

"Raph," those eyes seemed to speak on their own without their owner and Raph was forced to stare at them again, "Come on."

Green skinned arms forced him towards the open doorway. Raph glanced back at the white sheet on the floor while another green hand reached for it. He forced his gaze upward and met worried blue eyes. Mikey sighed and turned back to the cot.

Leo was still there, cold and frozen as ever. He had never moved.

Mikey scowled at the sight of a fly on Leo's face. He swatted it away and covered the corpse with the white sheet again before turning back towards the door where Raph was being forced back into the main room by Don. The youngest flashed a sad and worried look at his now, oldest brother and then glared at the back of his immediate older brother's head.

"What's so wrong with keeping up hope?" he murmured as he glanced back at what used to be Leo.

His throat tightened but he forced his limbs to tremble, somehow it helped him keep it together. If Raph was going to break down, Don was going to yell at everyone and Splinter was going to keep himself locked away, then who was there for him? A corpse in this room, his brothers in the main room, their friends a phone call away and his father in the next room.

Mikey had never felt so alone.

He clenched his hands into fists and growled. He pushed roughly away from the cot, hearing the metal legs scrape against the stone floor. It felt like a pair of giant metal spiked boots just decided to use his heart as a doormat. He straitened and took a deep breath before walking towards the still open door. When he reentered the main room, he found Raph sitting on the couch, a pillow at his feet was torn into shreds, Don wasn't anywhere in sight and no sound had even escaped Splinter's room. Mikey wasn't really sure what to do, Raph was now staring into space but his eyes were moving slightly towards the once again closed lab door every few seconds, before staring strait ahead as before, staring at something beyond their home and the reality that surrounded them. Maybe he was reliving memories…

A soft clank came from Don's room. So their genius brother was hiding like their sensei too. Typical…

Mikey glared at his immediate older brother's door and was about to take a step towards the room to break down the door, for some reason he wasn't sure of, when Raph finally spoke.

"It could be that," Raph said softly, staring at his hand that rested on top of his knee, palm up.

"Could be what?" Mikey asked with a sneer, the hidden jokester in him claiming it as his 'Grumpy Raphael' impression.

"Maybe it's just…maybe," Raph muttered and then glanced over at the closed lab door, his eyes changing slightly with some unusual emotion running across his expression.

The youngest turtle watched as his red masked eldest brother got to his feet and walked back towards the door to Don's lab, the unclassifiable expression still blanketing his face. Mikey growled again. Looks like the moment of acceptance didn't last, he was right back in denial. Figures. Where was Leo when you really needed him? As the bottom of the lab door scraped against the stone floor Mikey breathed out angrily and glanced towards the dojo. There was still a punching bag in there after all and he knew no one else would come out of their rooms anytime soon.

The walk to the dojo, became a blur.

The first punch was as fast as a strike of lightning.

The rest of the punches seemed empty, separated from the time and dimension itself.

Across the brick embedded place the mutants called home, if you listened closely, you could hear the genius turtle's repetitive footsteps. The purple masked ninja turtle found himself pacing, but no matter how he changed his course, speed or direction, he always ran into something.

_Clank!_

A random pipe.

_Crash!_

A small container of machinery odds and ends.

_Bang!_

A random invention of his.

_Thump!_

A large book on engineering.

"Engineering," Don sneered, looking down at the thick book, "Useless."

Why couldn't he have had the brain or instincts of a medical expert? That would've been more helpful. Don then thought back to the scene that had occurred at Winters Corp. Well, ok even if he had had the knowledge of a professional doctor, it wouldn't have helped.

AT ALL…

Leo had been limp, barely moving or breathing and then had been pulled back into the shadows by Serpiente and Mono. Where, unknowingly to the team, they had broken Leo's neck. There was no blood shed and no screaming, just a broken neck and a horrible silence. If science was golden, Don could easily feel the crimson rain running down his body like a swarm of spiders. Little demons that littered the earth, ready to prey upon him.

Yes, if silence was golden, then this emptiness was purely crimson.

Back in the lab, the room remained mute except for the red masked turtle's breathing. Raph walked right up to the supposed corpse and threw away the sheet. He had hope again because he knew something wasn't right. Don was smart though, he knew how to classify the dead from the living didn't he? Mikey would be able to do that. So the quiet hothead found himself stumbling more over the common sense in his brain than the outside reality. This just didn't make sense. His mind was running a million miles a minute. Don would've caught something like this. These factors just didn't seem to make sense. How could their local brainiac miss all this? Could it leave hope? Or crash and burn?

The skin decomposition of their skin was very rapid.

Leo had been dead for over 14 hours.

Why was his skin not decomposing?

Your skin could absorb heat.

If you put your hand against cold reptilian skin it became cold.

So why was his hand not ice cold, but mildly warm?

Raph carefully reached out and rested his hand on Leo's shoulder. Leo, because it could. He could be…

Ten minutes ticked by with the help of no clock, Raph lost himself in memories and just waited.

Twenty minutes passed, and although he was stiff from not moving, Raph still remained standing still, his hand on Leo's shoulder. Yes, it was Leo because this couldn't be a corpse.

Because…

A corpse didn't flinch beneath your fingertips. Raph smiled and raised his hand before placing it over Leo's eyes. He waited still, for it could've simply been a prolonged twitch of the body remaining still for so long. The simple jerk could be a release of unused energy but this was hope. So it couldn't die. There was hope, so Leo couldn't give up.

When another flinch came Raph removed his hand and then let it fall to his side as his eyes widened and his breath grew short.

This wasn't a corpse…

Because a corpse…

Didn't stare back at you with such life in it's eyes.

"Leo?" the red masked turtle whispered, afraid that, once again it was a dream that he would be woken from any moment now.

Leo said nothing, only stared, his shoulder flinched again, but he was alive.

It took a few seconds.

...

...

...

...

...

But it finally hit the younger turtle like a steel pipe batted against his skull.

Leo…

Was alive…

LEO WAS ALIVE!

Raph laughed and ran to the door, unconsciously he ripped it off the hinges and as soon as he stood in the main room, Don's door flew open and the purple masked turtle almost got a chance to glare at his older brother before he was pulled from the doorway, pushed into his lab and forced to the side of his oldest brother. Whose eyes were wide open, who was breathing, who was trying to move, but only succeeding in moving his shoulder. A sudden struggling for breath and the feel of fingertips on his hand made Donatello look down. Leo's hand was wrapped around his wrist, his arm was trembling like it was near impossible to hold up. But how? It couldn't be.

"LEO!"

Don turned his head sharply to see Mikey in the doorway ready to rush forward when dark green hands held him back from rushing towards their oldest brother.

"Look Mikey," Raph said with the largest smile his brothers had ever seen on his face, "I'll let you go if you don't tackle the poor guy."

"Ok!" Mikey shouted and Raph released him.

Mikey's orange mask became a blur as he rushed to Leo's side, pushing Don aside in the process. Don's hand was ripped from Leo's in the act but before Don could protest anything Mikey had hugged their oldest brother gently, his tears falling onto Leo's still trembling shoulder. The purple masked turtle couldn't bring himself to speak as his little brother moved as close as possible to the blue masked turtle.

"Leo," Mikey whimpered, pulling back as the tears falling from his face continued to fall onto Leo below, this time dampening his face as the young blue hues stared into frozen but comforting dark chocolate. While Don watched this all with an observant eye he watched his red masked thankfully not oldest brother now walk to Mikey and Leo's side.

Raph was still wearing his wide smile and he reached out to touch Leo's hand that was now lying on the white sheet that barely clung to the edge of the cot. Leo's hand was warm. Raph frowned and narrowed his eyes. He reached out and touched Leo's other arm, it was still ice cold. Could it have been like his dream a meditative state? No, then Splinter would've sensed his mind. Raph touched Leo's hand again and Leo forced his hand to take hold of his brother's. As Mikey stared back at the comforting gaze that had been absent for so long he noticed as Leo's eyes shifted behind him to Raphael. The orange masked turtle frowned at the command in his oldest brother's eyes but nevertheless, he stepped back and let Raph take his spot.

"Leo?"

The blue masked turtle managed to take a strangled gasp before his voice came out scratchy and without it's normal tone, it sounded fearful, "Cold," he shivered, "Temp-…so cold."

The eldest's eyes fluttered for a long few seconds before they fell closed.

"Leo!" Mikey and Don shouted.

"Cold, temp? Temperature?" Raph thought, "What does it have to do with-"

Leo's eyes opened and the answer hit Raph. Suddenly, it all made sense! Chalk it up that Leo found a way out yet again. The red masked turtle's brain subconsciously went into leader mode. Raph turned sharply to Mikey and Don.

"Mikey, get a towel and a bucket of warm water, Donny, get every blanket you can find."

"But Raph-"

"Now! Do you want Leo to slip back into a hibernation mode and really die!"

That sent Mikey spiraling out of the room at top speed but Don remained standing there, "But his neck should be broken, this is impossible!"

Raph growled, "Who cares if it was impossible! Just get those blankets!"

"But, it can't be," Don said as if he was in a trance reaching out to feel the broken bone in Leo's neck, "His neck's broken. This can't be real."

Curious Raph reached over as well, feeling the bone, immediately coming to a conclusion, "Some genius you are, yes the bone's broken but it hasn't broken all the way through. Now are you going to stand here or get those blankets!"

Don jumped and then turned to the door before running out and nearly running into Mikey. The youngest turtle stepped out of Don's path before barreling into the room and handing Raph the bucket and towel.

"Nice job Mikey," Raph said with a soft smile before setting the bucket on a table a few feet away and dampening the cloth in the warm water.

"Raph he closed his eyes again!" Mikey shouted.

"Move!" Raph ordered and pushed Mikey aside, "Leo?"

Leo's eyes managed to open just barely, "Just stay awake bro," Raph said, "We'll get you warmed up and then you can start moving and talking again ok? Just relax," Raph advised as he draped the cloth over Leo's face.

Where was Don with those blank-

"Here!" Don shouted, pushing the pile of warm fabric into Raph's hands.

Raph grunted his thanks and quickly threw the blankets over his older brother.

The they all exhaled breaths they never realized they were holding.

A mumbling came from beneath the towel a few seconds later and Raph reached out quickly to remove it.

"Leo?" the three turtles asked.

"I- I…just…I…uh…the…"

"Mikey go get a glass of water," Raph ordered and Mikey darted out of the room to follow the command, "Don, go-"

Raph looked over to find Don's eyes still on Leo's supposed 'broken neck'. The red masked turtle reached out and placed his hand on Leo's neck, feeling the bone underneath his fingertips. Leo hissed.

"Sorry bro," Raph murmured and then set the damp towel down to feel at the same bone in his neck.

"Ah…so that's it," Raph muttered.

"What!" Don shouted, his body tense.

"Feel here," Raph said, directing Don to feel the top of the broken bone.

"Wait," Don said, "Leo I'm sorry if this hurts."

Leo closed his eyes, a strange noise escaping from the back of his throat as Don pressed in on the lose bone in his neck.

"Raph?"

"Hmm?"

Don pointed to a cabinet at the side of the room, "Look in there and get me the small gray box."

Raph nodded and walked over to the cabinet right as Mikey came in with a glass of water.

"Here's the water," Mikey said in a quiet voice when he noticed Leo had closed his eyes again.

"He'll be fine Mikey," Raph said as he reappeared by them and handed a small gray metal box over to Don.

The purple masked turtle flipped it open and took out a few small bands o f metal and bandages, "As soon as I get his neck wrapped he should be able to drink that water."

Don felt like he had a million eyes watching over him as raised Leo's head to wrap the bandages around his neck, taking great care not to wrap them too tightly. When he lowered Leo's head back onto the cot the eldest opened his eyes and glanced longingly at the water that Mikey was still holding. He may be shivering but the thought of cool water running down his throat was like an out of reach dream. Raph spied the movement and took the glass from Mikey.

Turning back into the leader mode he wasn't aware he was taking Raph said he'd take care of Leo.

"But Raph-" Don protested before his immediate older brother cut him off.

"Look, Leo's been supposedly dead for too long, he's probably hungry, Mikey go fix something for him to eat, preferably some hot soup, he could really use some," Raph ordered glancing at how Leo was still trembling under the mountain of blankets, "It's a good thing the bone just splintered," he muttered and then looked to Don, "Speaking of Splinter, Don you go inform him that Leo's up"

The youngest turtles nodded and slipped out of the room. Raph watched them then turned back to find Leo was trying to sit up."

He watched for a few seconds before Leo's arms started to tremble and the few inches he managed to raise himself quickly fell to zero once again.

The red masked turtle sighed as Leo tried yet again, "You're more trouble than Mikey on a rainy day. Here, I'll help you," Raph said, setting the water down on a nearby table before reaching out and helping his older brother sit up.

The blankets slipped off but the younger turtle was quick to wrap them back around his older brother, "You sure know how to scare people, you know that?" Raph asked as he scooped up the water.

He noticed Leo trying and ultimately failing to lift his arms. He almost fell back again but Raph reached out and wrapped his arm around the eldest's shoulders, "Hey, easy now bro. Here, not too much at once though," he advised.

Raph raised the glass to Leo's lips where the blue masked turtle drunk until not a drop remained.

"Thirsty huh?" Raph asked with a sideways smile, he was still living in the moment, he decided he'd have to prepare for the shock of all this later.

Leo was breathing heavily and still shivering but finally his voice came out clearer than it previously had, "Raph?"

The red masked turtle smiled and sighed in relief, "Don't worry, Mikey's fixing something for you and Splinter will be here any minute."

"Raph," Leo said in a serious voice

Raph looked up and their eyes met, a million emotions and words flying in the air between them.

* * *

…

…

…

…

…

…

(Would you hate me if this turned out to be a dream too?

Readers- Glaring, raising pitchforks and torches.

Ok just wondering O-O')

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* * *

"Leonardo, my son," said an aged voice from the doorway.

The red masked turtle stepped back as his father and immediate younger brother shuffled forward. With a look that was one part sadness and three parts hope, he slipped out of the room and headed to the kitchen where he could smell Mikey's cooking. The unusual bright light of the kitchen made him blink rapidly to clear his gaze.

"Is Leo doing better?" Mikey asked as he noticed his older brother walking in.

"Yeah, Splinter and Don are with him."

"And you're not why?"

"I just have to get my thoughts together," the older turtle muttered.

"Yeah," Mikey said, turning to focus on the boiling pot of soup, "Still getting used to him being alive. How did he do it?"

"I don't know," Raph said with a shrug as he leaned against the counter, "He's Leo."

"Yeah," the youngest turtle said with a strange emotion in his eyes, "He is."

* * *

An hour later the door to Don's lab opened and the purple masked turtle stepped out behind his father.

"Leo's doing great, the temperature of his body has risen and he can move freely again although he is still a bit stiff. Of course, that's only to be expected."

"But how did he do it?" Mikey asked from where he and Raph were sitting on their couch, "He was in a hibernation mode right?"

"Yes," Don said, "There is a way through advanced meditation techniques that you can trick your heart to slow down, your breathing to become so shallow it's pretty much nonexistent and for your body temperature to lower so drastically to pull itself into a state of suspended animation."

"Anime what?" Mikey asked and paid little attention as Raph climbed to his feet and walked around the tech loving turtle and their sensei to slip back into the lab.

When he shut the door behind him with a resounding click, the room went silent and Raph could swear his heartbeat was the loudest sound and everyone in New York state could hear it.

"Raph," Leo said and the red masked turtle forced his gaze up to stare over at his brother.

Taking a deep breath, Raph finally decided what he needed to do. He forced his gaze to the ground and walked over to Leo's side. The blue masked turtle was confused by his little brother's actions but he knew Raph wasn't one for words, so the eldest simply watched and waited. In under second Raph's head shot up, their eyes locked and the younger turtle sent a fist flying forward hitting Leo in the jaw.

"That's for scaring me," Raph said through gritted teeth.

"I deserved that," Leo thought, he would've raised hand to his now sore jaw, but his body was still cold, it was amazing that he had managed to sit up before his arms gave out so his arms just lay at his sides, not very responsive.

Then Raph leaned forward wrapping his arms around Leo's shoulders before pressing his face into his older brother's shoulder. Although Leo's arms felt like lead he forced them to move so he could wrap them around his little brother and pull him close.

"This is for coming back," Raph whispered.

"I missed you," Leo admitted, his voice a little rougher than before.

"I missed you too bro."

"L-Leo I- Look," Raph said pulling away, "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you. I will."

Before Leo could respond Mikey and Don reentered the lab, giving Raph the opportunity to slip out wondering what he could do to make Leo forgive him.

He was still wondering this a week later when Leo could move without difficulty, they were all gathered in their small living room, Leo telling them what had happened after he had been pulled back into the shadows.

"She told Mono to 'silence me' so he went to break my neck, which would've indeed killed me."

"But how did you get out of it?" Don asked, he was the one most confused by this.

"Well, I had to make him think I was dead or I wouldn't have been able to get away alive at all, so I used an advanced meditation technique Master Splinter taught me a few years ago," Leo explained glancing gratefully at his sensei, the elderly rat's face lit with a small smile, "With the technique it caused the slowing of my heart and breathing."

"The state of suspended animation," Don concluded and Leo nodded.

"But wouldn't your neck like let out a cracking noise when it's broken?" Mikey asked, "Wouldn't they have known they really didn't break your neck at all?"

Leo smiled and reached into his belt pulling out something, "Petrified wood, hard to snap but a resounding crack when broken."

"So let me get this strait," Raph said, "You escaped death using a stick."

"Pretty much," Leo said with shrug.

"What was I expecting?" Raph said, shaking his head.

"He is Leo," Mikey reminded his red clad older brother.

"Yeah," Don agreed, "He is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo asked.

"None of us could've done that," Don said, "Raph and Mikey wouldn't have ever thought of it and I wouldn't of thought of it in under the available 4.5 seconds."

"Well, you might have if you had the time," Leo said to Don, "Mikey wouldn't have."

"Hey! I resent that!" the youngest shouted.

"I'm sure Raph would've though, if he needed to."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?" Raph asked with a curious eye.

Leo laughed, "Nothing little brother."

* * *

It would take three more days before an idea came to the red masked turtle but one night as he stopped to listen to the sounds of swords slicing through the air coming from the dojo, the idea slowly built in his mind. Over the next few days he would observe his older brother closely. Leo was still a sword master but Raph caught him staring at his new swords with a kind of lost gaze. Like he wasn't sure what to do with them.

The obvious thing hit Raph. Yes, Leo had swords but they weren't his. These two were just grabbed off the weapon rack, the weapons there were only ever used for temporary replacement until they fixed the damage to their own weapons. The idea full grown inside his head Raph headed topside that night. He found a hidden place to complete the work and even though it took awhile, the materials he needed. He found what remained of Leo's swords and set to work. It took a long time but a few weeks later, they were done. Two hand crafted swords, the steel reinforced. So it was immediately the next day that Raph found Leo in the dojo. The leader had his back to him, focusing on one of the thousands of katas he knew.

"Hey Leo?" Raph asked quietly.

Leo turned to stare at his younger brother and the katanas he held, they were in black sheathes. The blue banded turtle turned back to the wall and continued the kata, "I already have swords Raph."

"But don't you want yours back?"

"Mine were destroyed, if you remember," Leo reminded him with a slight venom in his voice that he couldn't bring himself to hold back.

"I know and I'm sorry, you deserve better than those though," Raph said, his eyes traveling to the discarded blades leaning against the wall.

"And how are those any different?" Leo asked, referring to the swords Raph was gripping tightly still facing away from him.

The younger turtle didn't want to screw this up, he had already made so many mistakes, he didn't want this to end in a fight.

Raph lowered his voice to a whisper, "I made them."

Leo froze and slowly turned around, staring wide eyed at his younger brother. Raph looked to the side in his way of embarrassment but walked forward to hold the blades out to Leo, "I found what was left of your swords and I reinforced the blades with stainless steel, so they're stronger and they won't get ruined and I-" Raph sighed and closed his eyes, "Leo, I'm so sorry and if you can ever forgive me I-"

He was cut off as he head was forced up and his eyes shot open, warm chocolate hues locked with his dull amber eyes, "I already have forgiven you," Leo said.

Slowly but surely Leo took the swords, sliding them out to find that the blades were indeed stainless steel. He wondered where Raph got all the materials to make these but the eldest decided not to question it. To his surprise, his name and the word 'brother' were written on one side of each blade in kanji characters.

"You made these, for me?" Leo asked, his eyes sill taking in the sight of the blades.

Raph said nothing but the silence said enough, before the red clad turtle knew it though, he was the one receiving a hug from his older brother. This time, with no hesitation whatsoever he hugged back, letting the small missing piece in his life click back into the puzzle.

* * *

Whew, 9 pages long. Go me! Although I must admit I type in 8 point font so 9 pages with 8 point font is like 15 pages with the default 12 point font. Well, I hope you enjoyed the story. I hope people are happy and no one comes after me with pitchforks and torches. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing and I hope to hear from you all on my other stories.

The funny thing is this story is way off from what I originally planned but I guess it's good.

A last few reviews for this final chapter please?

~Moonsetta


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